Forget-me-nots grow in lots of places around here. Forgive-me-nots are even more common. 

Recently, I discovered a general truth. It is that apologies vary in their authenticity.  Some ways of apologizing are deep and true. Others are as empty as a skeleton in the desert. Look at two common ways of apology and see for yourself. 

“Forgive me” is a message that has become rather rare these days, or so it seems to me. 

“Forgive me” says something about me. I have erred, made a mistake, caused hurt, transgressed, blown it, sinned. The idea is that I humble myself in admitting my own fault. I bend the neck. 

“Forgive me” also says something about you. You are important to me, essential, needed, valued. I need you. I need something you can give me:  a washing, a cleansing, absolution, a nod that says,”It’s OK; we are still together.” “Forgive me” says, “I need your acceptance again, though I’m undeserving.”

A more common attempt at apologizing these days is the declaration,”I’m sorry”. Compared with the cool depth of “forgive me”, “I’m sorry” seems rather tepid and shallow. “I’m sorry” tells something about me alright. But it stands up on its hind legs to say it. It speaks of my condition, but in a different way. It says, “I regret my actions. They’re quite out of character, you know. I’m sorry, normally I’m a very good person.” Saying “I’m sorry” focuses all the attention on me, proclaims me, but asks nothing of you, except to hear what I say about me. 

I’ve got a hunch that these two were at one time a single critter: “I’m sorry, please forgive me.”  But at some time in the dim past they were vivisected. Strange, isn’t it, the half that came into more common use? Or perhaps not so strange at all.

God’s Peace,

Norm